My spouse wants me to conceal carry...

Your spouse or boyfriend is promoting you carrying a firearm. Perhaps you've gone to the range, shot your/his firearm and now he wants you to carry concealed every day.

I hear from both men and women on this issue regularly. The men say. 'I really want my wife to carry, I don't care as much how but I want her to have a firearm with her'. The woman will say, 'my husband wants me to carry but...'

You'll find a lot of advice and suggestions out there from trainers and shooting clubs - all good advice by the way - about being ready, mentally prepared and trained. I'm on-board with all their advice. What I will share is some advice from someone who's been there.

For me, I started from the prospective of 'I'm not going to own a gun, much less use it'. So making the transition to carrying everyday was a shift to say the least. Here's how this happened for me.

I took the concept of concealed carrying one baby step at a time. First I held the firearm unloaded with my husband and he discussed holding, aiming and overall gun safety. That's it. Not moing too fast and having the time to digest the information was what worked for me. The next time we did the same thing only this time I asked a few questions. The next time, we went to the gun shop and range. We didn't shoot nor did we plan to, just a visit to allow me the opportunity to see and learn without any pressure to shoot. We did this twice, each time with no pressure to shoot, ask any questions, just an opportunity to feel comfortable in this environment. The next time we agreed we go shoot, just a short 10 minutes on the range. I went, palms sweating and slightly apprehensive. It was over before I knew it. I walked out not really caring about my shot placement on my paper target. I was pleased I was on the range, everything went smoothly and I shot the firearm successfully. Moving forward.

The next steps included learning more and asking questions. I feel if your spouse is wanting you to move in this direction being open and a resource to ask questions without judgement is necessary. I asked a lot of questions.

I then signed up for and took a concealed carry class. So glad I did and I'd recommend this to everyone. Training is important and seeking training from someone who trains others can provide you with information it would take you years to learn. Upon finishing the class I applied for my concealed carry permit.

And finally that carry permit came in the mail. Hooray! it was here. Oh no I thought getting this permit is one thing, carrying a firearm it yet another. I felt there was a chasm between the two. I approached this in the same way with baby steps. First deciding how I was going to carry. Then trying it out, firearm unloaded, around the house. Never leaving the house but carrying. Then adding back the magazine. Then finally making that first trip out. Not going far and not going for long. Looking at faces wondering if it was obvious, yes, I did that..

What I've come to learn is if you've concealed correctly, it won't be obvious. In fact, chances are they too are carrying. Often those you wouldn't guess are carrying are too. Because of what I do. the topic of conversation turns to firearms and concealed carry. Once this topic spreads women will go around the room saying, 'I have a gun', 'I carry,' 'I'm carrying everyday' and their friend sitting right next to them will say 'Wow, I didn't know that!"

If you feel you're still considering concealed carry and haven't made that leap, time and information will go a long way in reducing the stress, apprehension and fear. It's a big decision and one you need to feel comfortable with. Try these steps to see if it's right for you.